Sunday, July 31, 2011

July 31, 2011 – No Water For Swimming, More Cake

We ditched Jake (The Master of Come-Backs) to give him some time in the man-cave with somebody not related to him that would not drive him up a wall. There is a little bit of testosterone-fueled up-wall driving going on these days. Having grown up in this same house, but under the harsh, cruel majority rule of estrogen, I’m a little unprepared. I’d like to say that one is crazier than the other, but honestly I can’t tell. Angst is angst. All I can do is record as much as possible to show to future girlfriends and wives at the “So You Want to Date my Son” Power Point presentation that I’ve been working on.
After tossing Jake out of our slow-moving open van window on the side of the road, we went in search of a water hole to drown in. Summer is a bee-otch. Summer in the Tennessee Valley is a really fat bee-otch in a tube-top drinking Milwaukee’s Best while she watches NASCAR in a deer-skin-covered Lay-Z-Boy with a busted recline lever. With apologies to Don Mclean, we drove our Kia the creek, but the creek was dry.
On a normal day I’d be standing in four feet of cool blue-green water to take this shot. Not so much today.

I did see this Eastern Hercules (Dynastes tityus) beetle. This is only the fifth such beetle I’ve ever seen in this area. All I’ve found have been dead, or close to death.

We found a pool of water but there was no stream feeding it and it was full of baby gar. Anybody with any sense knows that gar live for one purpose: to bite off your ding ding. We did not swim in the pool.

There was some unfortunate business with a flat tire on the Kia as we left the creek. I changed it for the may-pop spare and drove on home (Sunday in Alabama = no tire store open). Sadly, the day was not what we had envisioned but there was…
MORE CAKE! I baked Esther a birthday cake with awesome chocolate-on-chocolate action. She ate the whole thing, all by herself and has not recovered yet.*

Happy Birthday, Esther!

A couple more pictures are available for viewing here. But no flowers that I don't know the names of because Summer in North Alabama sat on all of them and they are dead.

*Not really.

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